RUSH LIMBO MUMBO JUMBO MAKES HIS ESPN DEBUT. Details
Kick Out the Sports! by Bob Cook
Rush Limbaugh was recently hired as a commentator on ESPN's NFL pregame show to provide the "voice of the fan." In a statement, an ESPN executive explained the hiring of the bombastic radio conservative by saying, "We want to give fans a voice, and Rush is the person who can do it." In the same prepared statement, Limbaugh explained his qualifications by saying, "Football is like life and I know life." Limbaugh gets a commentary, as well as three opportunities to offer a counterpoint. The following is what Limbaugh's appearances may sound like, using the King of the Dittoheads' own quotes:
Chris Berman: Hello, we're back on "NFL Countdown." Let's move along to our "Voice of the Fan" segment, and who has a bigger and better voice, myself excluded, than Rush "To Judgment" Limbaugh. So let's see what's on your mind, eh, Rush?
Rush Limbaugh: With half my brain tied behind my back, just to make it fair!
Jackson: How can we keep this guy on? He makes no sense, and what is this stuff about (his brain being bigger than ours)?
Limbaugh (to Jackson): Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.
Jackson: What sort of racist crap is this? Don't you know I'm black? Don't you know black people watch this show?
Limbaugh: They are 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?
Berman: Whoa, there's a man who, uh, knows his demographic! For ESPN NFL Countdown, I'm Chris Berman, saying, I bet Fox doesn't even go this far on its pregame show!
Read this entire conversation online at Flakmagazine
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Thought (good one!) for the day
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than Alzheimer's research. By 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky breasts, never-ending erections and no recollection of what to do with either of them. Tip to Cynical Cyn