So many conservative pundits and online bloggers are busy telling us Democrats that any candidate to the "left" of 'GOP Joe' Lieberman cannot be elected. Their constant reminders that those who challenge the pReznit on the War for Oil will be seen as “weak” on national security are most considerate. I believe it is only fair that we Democrats recognize this new spirit of helpfulness and fair play that has been lacking in Republicans for so long. Isn’t it so nice of them to take the time to tell us how to win. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and sorry for all of the bad things I have said about Republicans. I intend to make it up to them and reciprocate right here and now.

All Republicans take note that there is only one way you will defeat the Democrats and retain the White House in 2004:
Dump Bush and nominate Ah'nold the bodybuilder for President.
Ah'nold speaks better English than Bush.
He is more macho.
He is certainly more intelligent.
His father was a Nazi like George’s grandfather.
He earned his money instead of living off of millions in contributions from his father’s friends or
Taking it from the government like Cheney.
Ah'nold is married to a Kennedy.
Rush Limbo Mumbo Jumbo thinks he is a liberal.
That makes him acceptable to those rare and coveted white male Democrats

Ah'nold is the logical choice. Don't pay any attention to that Constitutional thing about birthplace. You can ignore that like you ignore the law. Democrats like Ah'nold for President and he appeals to rich white men so he will solidify your base. He will certainly consolidate the Austrian immigrant vote.

We Democrats would hate to see you lose the White House next year after you worked so hard to steal it. We know you are all disgusted with the lying little dimwit Bush. Thank you for trying so hard to help us Democrats. We want to help you too.