Aug 22, 2003

FREEPERS, FALWELLIANS, FAUX NEWS FANATICS, ASSCRAFTERS, BUTTCANNONS, CARLSONITES, COULTERGEISTS, 700 CLUBBERS, PSEUDO-CHRISTIAN PATRIONAUGHTS, HAN-NINNEYS, HORRORWITZES, HALFWITS, HESTONIAN GUN NUTS, DITTOHEADS, & NEWS-MAXED DRUDGES: RightWingNuts one and all this is for you. Trolling in Tennessee with BJ and Bustin is exploring the political orientation of some of the inhabitants of Tennessee in search of any semblance of logic or intelligence. .Friday installment from Knoxville. This could easily be a BJ and Bustin moment:
"Two Kingston Republicans were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree. The accident occurred as the two men were returning home after an NRA outing. The pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned when the fuse burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, they noticed that a .22 caliber bullet fit perfectly into the older model fuse box near the steering wheel. After inserting the bullet, the two men proceeded. 20 miles later the bullet overheated, discharged and struck the driver in the right testicle and the vehicle swerved striking a tree. The driver will require surgery to repair his wound and the passenger sustained a broken clavicle. The pick-up truck was covered in Bush-Cheney, NRA, and other common RightWingNut stickers. Both men are jobless and have no medical insurance since they were laid off when nuclear waste cleanup at Oak Ridge lost funding. When asked the two indicated they still support Bush and would rather lose their jobs and their nuts then their guns."
Roane County spans the Clinch and Tennessee River Valley and climbs the Cumberland Plateau to Central Standard Time. The Oak Ridge reservation is a large part of the county. Oak Ridge is said to have the highest per capita IQ. of any city in America - from a population of Nuclear Scientists; Kingston, Oliver Springs, Rockwood, and Harriman are not so blessed. These are tough coal mining towns with a history of moonshine and drug smuggling. Roane County is only 2.7% non-white yet Al Gore managed 44% of the vote here. There is some intelligent life in Roane County from the influence of the Oak Ridge outsiders.

No comments: