Aug 31, 2003

NEXT SUNDAY WILL BE A SORRY DAY IN ESPN & NFL SPORTS HISTORY -
RUSH LIMBO MUMBO JUMBO MAKES HIS ESPN DEBUT.
Details

Kick Out the Sports! by Bob Cook
Rush Limbaugh was recently hired as a commentator on ESPN's NFL pregame show to provide the "voice of the fan." In a statement, an ESPN executive explained the hiring of the bombastic radio conservative by saying, "We want to give fans a voice, and Rush is the person who can do it." In the same prepared statement, Limbaugh explained his qualifications by saying, "Football is like life and I know life." Limbaugh gets a commentary, as well as three opportunities to offer a counterpoint. The following is what Limbaugh's appearances may sound like, using the King of the Dittoheads' own quotes:

Chris Berman: Hello, we're back on "NFL Countdown." Let's move along to our "Voice of the Fan" segment, and who has a bigger and better voice, myself excluded, than Rush "To Judgment" Limbaugh. So let's see what's on your mind, eh, Rush?

Rush Limbaugh: With half my brain tied behind my back, just to make it fair!

Jackson: How can we keep this guy on? He makes no sense, and what is this stuff about (his brain being bigger than ours)?

Limbaugh (to Jackson): Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.

Jackson: What sort of racist crap is this? Don't you know I'm black? Don't you know black people watch this show?

Limbaugh: They are 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?

Berman: Whoa, there's a man who, uh, knows his demographic! For ESPN NFL Countdown, I'm Chris Berman, saying, I bet Fox doesn't even go this far on its pregame show!
Read this entire conversation online at Flakmagazine

Please register your discontent with Mark Shapiro at Espn HERE

Thought (good one!) for the day
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than Alzheimer's research. By 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky breasts, never-ending erections and no recollection of what to do with either of them. Tip to Cynical Cyn

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